Dad, 52 people, some whom you never met came out to celebrate YOU and to help raise awareness. Last weekend I hosted my first fundraiser. I desperately want to help the countless individuals living with a swallowing disorder, people like you and families like us who felt so isolated.
I established a fund in your name where all monies go to the National Foundation of Swallowing Disorders. Since you have gone I have received endless photos, emails and texts telling me what a great man you were. Mom is always telling me I have your eyes and heart. I have your sense of humor and share your love for life. There is so much of you in me that I think I frighten Mom sometimes. I miss you even more today than one year and one month ago because it’s been 13 months since I heard your voice, heard your laugh, told you I love you and held your hand. Since you have passed I have found enough feathers to build my own angel wings and visit you in heaven.
Or when a beautiful fluffy white feather crosses my path, and I smile because I know it’s you sending me love from above.
Or when I’m driving to work in the morning and I can smell you, and for a moment I can feel you sitting next to me in the car. I KNEW it was you and started sobbing in the middle of Stop and Shop. Sometimes it is gut wrenching pain, like the other day when Josh Groban’s “Your Raise Me Up” came on in the store and I felt a faint brush on my cheek.
#Remembrance message for my late dad full
It’s been a full year and one month since your death you are still opening that door comforting me. Heartache that I never knew was possible and mysterious because I never know how or when that door is going to open and pull me in. Your death has been a mysterious doorway with so much painful grieving for me. You speak to me through feathers, music and if I listen closely I can still hear your sweet voice. You are constantly showing me that love never dies. You were the biggest influence in my life.Ī father is the one who guides his daughter through life, and now even in death you are guiding me.
#Remembrance message for my late dad how to
A dad's job is not only to protect his little girl, but also to show her how to defend herself when, one day, he is not around. Unfortunately death brings out quite a few fools.įrom teaching me how to walk, to throw a ball, even to dance while standing on top of your feet, you showed me ways to stand on my own two feet. One of the greatest lessons you taught me is to quiet a fool with silence. Taking a page out of your book I chose to break ties and ignore. Our family desperately needed kindness, love and support, anything else seemed cruel and unwelcome. The people who I thought were going to be my anchors quickly became the holes in my lifeboat. How do I comfort someone mourning their soulmate when I don't even know how to comfort myself? Hearing the gut wrenching sounds of Mom mourn you is a heartbreaking, agonizing experience. You and Mom showed me what true, unconditional love looks like. I will never forget how your eyes would light up with joy when Mom entered the room. As your health began to fail, Mom was the one breathing life into you each day. So much that it was not uncommon for you to shout to the doctors that you were alive because of Mom. I watched Mom selflessly care for you throughout your marriage, but with extra care the past 7 years. Watching Mom mourn you is unbearable, there are times I'm certain I can hear the sounds of her heart breaking. That’s 40 years of saying “I love you”, 40 years of being a Daddy’s girl, 40 years of feeling safe, 40 years pure, unconditional love. For my entire existence we spoke every single day, even when I was away in college. You played a major role in my life and now you were gone. My heart was so heavy and the pain was unbearable. When you died my grief became so overwhelming and suffocating that on numerous occasions I was convinced that I too was dying. You were not supposed to die unable to eat it seemed like such a cruel death sentence for such a good man. Towards the end of your life I was so angry that my prayers were not answered. I prayed and pleaded with God to heal you. For seven years I watched you endure horrific pain. As a woman, I know that is true, but I still miss you terribly. When I was young you told me we grieve for ourselves because the deceased are in a better place. At night I look at the sky and make a wish on the brightest star I see and I believe it is you. I still wake up in the morning thinking this is a nightmare and you’re not really gone.
According to Google that’s 9490.01 hours but to me it feels like an eternity. It’s been one year and one month since you are gone.
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